From the Archives • December 1999

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Uncle Mike: Be Careful what you Ask For!

Okay, so you didn't act fast enough to get your limited first edition of "Letters to Uncle Mike," and other people read them out loud to you when you are acting like "you were raised by weasels," or you were trying to explain to this bartender about the quantum physics of death, and you couldn't quite remember what he said. Fear not. Tools will soon be available.

Yes, "Letters to Uncle Mike" will soon be back in print. But equally importantly, an all new tome is ready for the press. More Letters? Son of Letters? My favorite is "Nephew of Letters to Uncle Mike," but whatever the title may become, watch this space, collect the whole set, and stand by for the "Greetings From the Real Oregon Coast," a soon-to-be-available line of greeting cards with more disturbing illustrations by Steve McLeod, and appropriate salutations by Uncle Mike. No, we are not kidding. Are we having fun yet? Saddle Mountain Press rides again!

For those few new readers, Uncle Mike is not like Ann Landers or her not-so-twin sister, Dear Abby -- unless you are referring to the John Prine song, and then you are getting closer. Uncle Mike is the friend everyone really needs; you know, the one who tells you when you are acting like an idiot. But, as his fans will tell you, he always shows compassion for the participants in the dance we call life. He does suggest however, that one listen to the melody and try to keep time, and not frighten the other dancers. His columns are the first thing most readers of the Upper Left Edge, hipfish and several other rags turn to when they pick up the paper. There is a reason for that.

He is the best writer I have ever gotten drunk with.

Yes, he is my friend; yes, I do suggest you buy a copy of anything he writes; no, I don't suggest playing poker with him.
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And now,
Dario Charnay

Many of those who co-inhabit this little blue ball with us here on the upper left edge may not have heard of Dario Charnay, but he is very familiar to KMUN listeners and has been for years. Recently, Dario's shows have been done by Dave... Ambrose. Dario travels a lot. Dario is kinda unusual for a disc jockey in that you never actually hear Dario Charnay on the radio. But his show has been a staple on KMUN for years. Well, we hate to do it but a free press demands that we tell our teaders the truth.

Dario Charnay is a myth. He is like the rest of the mythical figures, our heroes, our ideals. He's not dependable; he never shows up to do his show. Other people have to fill in for him; they have to try to do what he would do if he weren't gallivanting around the planet, having fun. He is not a good 'role model' like a lot of our 'heroes.'

Those of us who listen when we can to the Dario Charnay show are pleased to note that the folks filling in for our hero are doing just fine; they produce shows that make us think and wonder. They do things we've never heard done on radio, things we didn't think they could do. They are living up to his name, and its anagram.
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It's comin' in over the rock!

Our beloved Professor Lindsey shared pieces of his new work with the village recently. It was a packed house last Tuesday in the City Council Chamber; they were turning them away. The Chamber hasn't been this full since the heady days of Off Shore Oil Drilling, and later the Cavenham Timber Company's departure, or even the Community Policing efforts.

Yep, Pete packed 'em in, and did good. I would like to share a personal thought about Peter Lindsey. I first remember meeting him shortly after I moved back to the village and learned that he was, among other things, a gentle soul, a ready wit, a Vietnam vet, and a former High School English teacher. His way with the language delighted me and I begged him to join my humble efforts at the Upper Left Edge. He resisted. I persisted, as is my way.

When Peter's mentor, the truly holy Don Thompson passed, I asked that he turn his tears into ink and write Don's obit. It was perhaps a cruel thing to do, and was certainly self-serving, for I knew that he couldn't not do it, and that the village needed to know more about Don and his wife, Vi, and what they had done here. He owed nothing to me or the Edge, but he owed much to Don and Vi.

Well, as our constant readers know, he hasn't stopped writing since. And he finally started writing for himself. His reading Tuesday night far exceeded what I had ever hoped for. His command of the language and his voice stirred the intellect and the emotions of the audience, who were mostly standing. He took the village back to its roots and challenged it to consider its future. The laughter echoed and a few tears swelled. All in all, it was well done.

It should be noted that a half dozen last minute arrivals consisted of the Thanatopsis Literary and Inside Straight Association who had, in an unprecedented move, adjourned their weekly poker game to stand silently in the back of the room and listen, rarely giggling at the wrong places. Of course, as soon as he had finished speaking and had been given the obligatory pats on the back, they immediately disappeared back to the secret hideout to finish their intellectual endeavors.

Winston Churchill once said, "History will be kind to me; I know, because I intend to write it." That is usually the way; those in charge, the winners, write the 'history.' It is the rest of us who 'live' the history they write about. Peter Lindsey has written our history of this small village on the Oregon Coast. His stories rarely begin, "August 18th, 1963," but rather, "One summer night in the early sixties..." Most of his history never made the papers, and ever if it did, they didn't tell the real story about the human beings living it. And they certainly never wrote it with the style, compassion, humor and understanding that Peter has.

Peter has written an anectodal history of Cannon Beach, and it is, as I write, in manuscript form. Folks are already yelling for the book. Will there be one? Yes. When? When he's done. But, that could take years?!!! Yep, but we're working on it. Stay tuned.