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About Eric Conley

Eric Conley...

Thinks if there truly is a war between the feral cat lovers and the wild bird enthusiasts that everyone should remember that kittens are cute and college kids can sometimes be impulsive.

Is 26, has brown hair which blondes in the sunny sun.

Thinks every boy should be entitled to a free vasectomy at the hands of a competent surgeon*, no questions asked.

Is tattooed and will eat most anything off the floor (except mustard flavors, death flavors, grapefruit flavors).

Thinks roadkill is an exciting opportunity.

Is in love, married, and has an unmoored skull filled with helium, perpetually floating into clouds.

Thinks that if all the insects decided to simultaneously seek vengeance for all their swatted squished poisone flattened burnt slapped brethren the human race would finally be afforded a just reason to be scared of bugs.

Is small. Can squeeze through narrow spaces.

Thinks his Wife's dog Pony ought to start a band named Pony-San and the Mountain Boys and play hits such as "She gonna get mah dogs barking" and "That's that Chinese Pony" .

Has an uncannily good grip, for opening jars.

* recommends you save your money for the operation

Correspondence

May 27, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

This is a strange time, is it not my Queen? With the valley shrouded in pooling fog, the days have darkened and the Elk have been proving themselves increasingly difficult to be tallied. Their hooves have forked in three directions: where the Root drinks from the Vein, where the Tongue burrows into sand, and where the Stones From Afar circle The Forest’s edge. [Read More] 

Filed Under: Art, Culture, Featured Writing, Poetry, ULE Tagged With: RoonJon StormTooth, Usnea TreeFriend, WereWitch

What Could Be Described as a Commune of Elderly Alcoholics

April 21, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

What ate the daylight yesterday—and many days of the past month—was drinking cheap 5.9% alcohol per content beers with men 60 plus years of age. Cranky men, clinging onto beer cans as if their nostalgia depended on it. Maybe a lifetime of drinking dilutes experiences enough so that ageing and learning from life slips by unnoticed.

[Read More]

Filed Under: Culture, ULE Tagged With: Northeast Philadelphia cult, Oldschool, Opossum vertebrae talisman, Virginia Slims

To Whoever Corrects Current and Previous Addresses (true prose poem)

March 16, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

I have been cursed with a curse! You see, I found the rotten corpse of a horse that presumably floated across the Pacific Ocean from Japan on the beach a few days ago. I took a picture of it’s decomposing skin and pulled 2 teeth from its decrepit mouth (which required much effort to sever the fibrous flesh rooting the teeth to mandible; I had to use a sharp drift-wood-stick to cut the sinewy strands). [Read More]

Filed Under: Poetry, ULE Tagged With: Curse, FedEx, Human Resources

Outside the Nehalem public restrooms

July 16, 2013 by Eric Conley 1 Comment

Clutched walking sticks kicked from the
Tourist gait, all in gloomy imagination:

Faces
(Now imagine rage)
Laid onto discarded receipts for the
Chocolate chip cookie becoming the
Gravel chipped cheek
[Read More]

Filed Under: Poetry, ULE

More Gleanings

Here Try Some of This Ointment

April 17, 2024 By Watt Childress 4 Comments

We are the Luminaries

August 8, 2023 By Watt Childress 2 Comments

Open Letter for Creation’s Caregivers

June 19, 2023 By Watt Childress 5 Comments

My November 2022 Ballot Choices

November 6, 2022 By Rabbi Bob 1 Comment

One Cup of Tea

November 15, 2020 By Lila Danielle 1 Comment

Additional Wisdom...

Readers’ Comments

  • Watt Childress April 28, 2025 at 11:48 am on Uncle Zech’s Amphibious GestaltAlso, you inspired me to insert a sentence crediting Hoyt Axton with the song's genesis. Many thanks!
  • Watt Childress April 27, 2025 at 10:55 pm on Uncle Zech’s Amphibious GestaltThank you kindly Jim for reading this and commenting. I enjoyed your review of "Sun House" by David James Duncan,
  • Jim Stewart April 27, 2025 at 8:26 pm on Uncle Zech’s Amphibious GestaltNice! Hoyt Axton wrote the Jeremiah song and sang it with great gusto. Life wanders on and I'm still glad
  • Watt Childress April 26, 2025 at 3:51 pm on Uncle Zech’s Amphibious GestaltDuring spring I think of you, and all the May Pole celebrations you've organized over the years. So grateful for
  • Watt Childress April 26, 2025 at 3:18 pm on Uncle Zech’s Amphibious GestaltIn my dreams I sing to the multitudes, with a voice as clear and sweet and churchy as Lou Reed.
More Comments...

Confessional (archive)

Come into The Confessional -- view the former Upper Left Edge forum entries.

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