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About Eric Conley

Eric Conley...

Thinks if there truly is a war between the feral cat lovers and the wild bird enthusiasts that everyone should remember that kittens are cute and college kids can sometimes be impulsive.

Is 26, has brown hair which blondes in the sunny sun.

Thinks every boy should be entitled to a free vasectomy at the hands of a competent surgeon*, no questions asked.

Is tattooed and will eat most anything off the floor (except mustard flavors, death flavors, grapefruit flavors).

Thinks roadkill is an exciting opportunity.

Is in love, married, and has an unmoored skull filled with helium, perpetually floating into clouds.

Thinks that if all the insects decided to simultaneously seek vengeance for all their swatted squished poisone flattened burnt slapped brethren the human race would finally be afforded a just reason to be scared of bugs.

Is small. Can squeeze through narrow spaces.

Thinks his Wife's dog Pony ought to start a band named Pony-San and the Mountain Boys and play hits such as "She gonna get mah dogs barking" and "That's that Chinese Pony" .

Has an uncannily good grip, for opening jars.

* recommends you save your money for the operation

Correspondence

May 27, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

This is a strange time, is it not my Queen? With the valley shrouded in pooling fog, the days have darkened and the Elk have been proving themselves increasingly difficult to be tallied. Their hooves have forked in three directions: where the Root drinks from the Vein, where the Tongue burrows into sand, and where the Stones From Afar circle The Forest’s edge. [Read More] 

Filed Under: Art, Culture, Featured Writing, Poetry, ULE Tagged With: RoonJon StormTooth, Usnea TreeFriend, WereWitch

What Could Be Described as a Commune of Elderly Alcoholics

April 21, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

What ate the daylight yesterday—and many days of the past month—was drinking cheap 5.9% alcohol per content beers with men 60 plus years of age. Cranky men, clinging onto beer cans as if their nostalgia depended on it. Maybe a lifetime of drinking dilutes experiences enough so that ageing and learning from life slips by unnoticed.

[Read More]

Filed Under: Culture, ULE Tagged With: Northeast Philadelphia cult, Oldschool, Opossum vertebrae talisman, Virginia Slims

To Whoever Corrects Current and Previous Addresses (true prose poem)

March 16, 2014 by Eric Conley 2 Comments

I have been cursed with a curse! You see, I found the rotten corpse of a horse that presumably floated across the Pacific Ocean from Japan on the beach a few days ago. I took a picture of it’s decomposing skin and pulled 2 teeth from its decrepit mouth (which required much effort to sever the fibrous flesh rooting the teeth to mandible; I had to use a sharp drift-wood-stick to cut the sinewy strands). [Read More]

Filed Under: Poetry, ULE Tagged With: Curse, FedEx, Human Resources

Outside the Nehalem public restrooms

July 16, 2013 by Eric Conley 1 Comment

Clutched walking sticks kicked from the
Tourist gait, all in gloomy imagination:

Faces
(Now imagine rage)
Laid onto discarded receipts for the
Chocolate chip cookie becoming the
Gravel chipped cheek
[Read More]

Filed Under: Poetry, ULE

More Gleanings

Memoir

February 13, 2026 By Steven Mayer Leave a Comment

End of the Street

August 4, 2025 By Steven Mayer 2 Comments

Here Try Some of This Ointment

April 17, 2024 By Watt Childress 4 Comments

We are the Luminaries

August 8, 2023 By Watt Childress 2 Comments

Open Letter for Creation’s Caregivers

June 19, 2023 By Watt Childress 5 Comments

Additional Wisdom...

Readers’ Comments

  • R²
    January 7, 2026 at 7:19 am
    on Smart travel money helps care for places we love
    Couldn't agree with you more. We're dealing with that all right now trying to get the air museum in tillamook
  • Pam Wade
    December 6, 2025 at 8:29 am
    on Adventures with author Charles de Lint
    The first work I read by Charles de Lint was Greenmantle followed by Moonheart. Since then there has not been
  • Trudy
    October 8, 2025 at 2:42 pm
    on Hankering for Paradise: My Discovery of The Wave Crest Inn
    I stayed at the Wave Crest for a night in the late 70s. If I remember right, the cost was
  • K H
    September 24, 2025 at 8:09 am
    on The Genocide of the American Indian, and Their Refusal to Die
    This response is far from timely, I know. But in honor of the ancestors I thank you for helping us
  • Ronald Logan Buchansn
    September 22, 2025 at 12:35 am
    on Three Poems and a Mountain
    Logan, on my annual summer browsing at Jupitor's I read "Freewriting In A Parked Car" and instantly purchased your book.
More Comments...

Confessional (archive)

Come into The Confessional -- view the former Upper Left Edge forum entries.

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