Right now my current “self” is thanking my past “self” for doing a thoughtful thing for my (then) future “self.” Of course, I had forgotten what I’d done so my past self had to remind my current self this morning. (It’s sort of like in the Star Trek movie where young Spock meets his older self.)
So I awoke today to the morning light streaming in at just the right angle to reveal that the no-see-ums had invaded my bedroom via a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy unnoticed hole in the window screen. (Egads!) My room was a flutter with dust-mote-sized, blood-sucking denizens of suffering and I was feeling a bit helpless as I ran for the duct tape and realized that during the night my bug bites had multiplied 3-fold. (DRAT!)
So, if I’ve seen ’em does that means that the “no-see-ems” are now “see -ems”?
As I was MacGyvering my window screen with duct tape I peered outside and it looked like a no-see-um convention with ’em all hanging out, pressing their tiny bodies against the screen. The millimeter-sized hole was, to them, a portal to nirvana…the scent of my sweet blood luring them through to the other side.
So last May when I was scratching my bug bites, I didn’t believe in these legendary “no-see-ums” the locals told me I was being bitten by (if I don’t “see ’em” I don’t believe in ’em, ya know?). Nevertheless, I made a big jar of itch remedy up–a BIG FREAKING jar of it–and industrial strength. BEHOLD! It seems to work. My holy elixir of relief…
Evidently, it’s mostly genetics that determines who the buggers bite and who seldom gets bitten. It’s the quality of the blood, or so researchers believe, that attracts the no-see-ums & mosquitoes who sniff it out based on scent. I guess it’s more like a recessive genetic trait that randomly pops up in families but interesting to note that more people with type O blood are effected (of course there are more folk with type O ) and that in studies of identical twins seldom was one twin susceptible and the other not. Both twins shared the same traits in pretty much all cases.
So, I guess that it’s sort of an offhand compliment from the no-see-ums about how they perceive the quality of my blood, but I think I’ll pass on playing blood donor if I can help it. This season my current self will be brewing up yet another version of natural no-see-um repellent for my future self to use next season. Hopefully it works. Guess I’d better make another batch of anti-itch remedy just in case…
More ramblings about the entropy effect and the nature of non-linear time coming soon. Anyone wanna discuss quantum physics? No-see-em repellent recipes?? Star Trek???
“I shall endeavor not to return before I leave.”
- – Spock, in all seriousness, on his attempt at time travel
It was Spock’s deadpan humor that endeared him to the masses. Data took up the slack in the Next Generation.
Quantum physics, entropy, non-linear time, Star Trek — bring it on!!
cool…another geek to talk spock with…we just finished re-watching all the Next Gen episodes, if that tells ya anything.
Go Dawn!
I suspect many no-see-um geeks would love to hear your recipe for industrial-strength anti-itch remedy. Seems like I’ve noticed more blood-suckers this year. Maybe my juices are just ripening with age.
Speaking of Star Trek, yours truly still swells with emotion when I watch a clip of Data’s final act of humanity in Nemesis. I was also thrilled when a North Coast resident re-enacted a few of her lines from a part she played on Next Gen while we were standing in line for food at the Manzanita Farmers Market. Perhaps fans will recognize her in the following clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXwWwaBMxK8
LOVE NextGen. It’s our favorite Star Trek iteration around here.
The actress who played Soren is a NoCoaster? Really! Please do tell! What a talented bunch of villagers we have here.
You’re looking in the wrong place. Here’s another hint.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6F43h8HVtc
I knew it was one or the other!
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Megan_Cole
I’m still refining the remedy but last year’s batch was a jar of braggs ac vinegar filled with calendula petals and leaves from long-leaf plantain.
For a few bites, chewing up the plantain leaves into a pulp and putting the pulp directly on the bites is a good field dressing.
I’ve had good luck also with a mud made of bentonite clay, daubed on bites
The latter two remedies get a little tedious when the bite count gets up above 30 or 40 though…thus my foray into potions that can be easily swabbed liberally over large areas of the body. (Although rolling in a mud holeand letting it dry in the sun, pachyderm-style, might work too. I’ve been tempted to try this in the midst of midge season!)
“One midge is an entomological curiosity, a thousand can be hell!” –D.S. Kettle.
I’ve been reading various books on entomology by authors of that creatively-written-non-fiction-genre and it turns out the “no-see-um” or “Biting-midge” (genus Culicoides) can actually effect property value:
“A 2006 study estimated that this tiny, blood-sucking annoyance was responsible for driving down real-estate prices to the tune of $25 to $50 million in the desirable Hervery Bay area (Australia), where new homes built close to mangrove swamps were plagued by insects”
The people of the town were worried about the midge’s ability to depress the tourism (and furthermore, their local economy) along with the potential spread of disease/parasites (the midges of Brazil and around the Amazon are the only species known to transmit the flu-like Oropouche fever and the parasitic protozoa Mansonella, and also a bovine disease which turns cows’ tounges blue). However, The most frequent complaint is the destruction these flies have caused to marriages; townsfolk were forced to spend more time with their spouses indoors instead of recreating outside, apart from each other. Substantial outcomes for a gnat with such tiny weaponry!
Or, I must ask, are these poor midges the scapegoats for the inevitable witherings of marriages amongst those who build houses next to mangrove swamps in the increasingly muggiest seasons that have ever humidified Earth?
I try my best to practice good sportsmanship with these critters because, well, there’s no way to avoid the realization: the midge’s hungry belly is no more or less significant then my own.
Sweet Success! Finally, after suffering every year since being here on the coast (7-years of itch, indeed!) I came up with a salve that quells the misery. My “Blessed Relief” salve still uses a variety of the plantain weed but combined with comfrey (for quick healing) and white bentonite clay all in coconut oil with a bit of beeswax.
I changed the way I was infusing the herbs into the oil and VIOLA!
So, I’ve tested this formula on a bunch of other no-see-um targets and all experience the same relief from the itch and also the bites heal up in a few days. As an added benefit the plantain seems to be a repellent…something I didn’t expect.
And yes, I’m selling jars of it. Four ounces for $25. Good for itches, stings, burns, scrapes and rashes. (I’ll give a jar free to a poison ivy or poison oak sufferer who wants to be a test subject.)
I’m really tempted to write a viola joke here, but will resist…