This morning, I didn’t fully wake up. I was having wonderful conservative dreams where privatization ruled and the God given commandment of unfettered capitalism reigned. I turned on the lights and thanked the Almighty for my private utility company, although since it is a monopoly, the rates seem a little high and I wondered how the CEO could afford that villa in Spain. Oh well, I’m sure he’s looking out for me—I’m a customer!
I wasn’t sure how this day was going to go, but that’s the wonder of living in an “every real man for himself” world. Boy, the water kind of smelled coming out of the shower—I’ve had it with the private water company, so I’m going to exercise my rights and drill a well! The wind seemed to be picking up, so I checked my trusty Oregon Scientific barometer, and it was way low—it should be a fun day.
I needed to have breakfast before I launch for the day. I fried up some Jimmy Dan’s sausage, it was excellent! I wondered where it came from, no clues on the label, oh well. I grabbed my local paper, and checked out the headlines. Oh no, hundreds were getting sick from Jimmy Dan’s sausage—it’s made in China—usually a good move for all consumer products, but this sausage must have a kick. My stomach was starting to growl.
I gathered up the kids to head for our private school. The tuition is a killer, but since the public schools were abandoned, it’s our only option—I’m just waiting for competition to kick in, but there are so few kids in our area, only one school seems to make it—and home schooling is a lot of work.
I headed out in our new car—it was really a great deal, I exercised my rights and got the stripped down model, no air bags, no seat belts, no collapsible steering column—who needs all this crap, I’m a careful driver. The roads are in great shape since the private company took over their maintenance. The monthly use fee isn’t so high, but all those toll booths are a hassle—I wish there was some competition. To avoid the tolls, I’ve been using my four wheeler for some “cross country” drives, but folks started shooting at me when I went across their properties. I should have respected their property rights—my bad.
All of a sudden, the wind whipped up and a tree went down right in front of the car. Thank God the kids were OK, but I took a pretty good rap on the head when it bounced off the windshield. No ambulance came, no police or fire department. I finally got out of the car, called a friend who took the kids on to school and me back to my house. I was going to go to the local hospital, but remembered that if you didn’t have insurance that would cover your specific injuries, they’d turn you away—I’m told even if you were bleeding to death—and that is how it should be. I lay down on my bed, my head starting to pound more and more, and I drifted off into a deep sleep. An alarm clock awoke me—hey it was all a dream and I’m still living in this darn socialist country.